this past weekend, when my wife asked the fat question, i tried to reply with the worst thing i could think of — “yeah, but you are supposed to. you don’t expect those clothes to hide all your chub do you?”
i found this extremely funny, because this is about the craziest game played by couples. women ask this question over and over. men know what they should answer, and how to answer it (you have to be believable). i think my wife is thin. heck, it doesn’t matter that much to me anyway. i do not notice any change from one week to the next, but a simple “no, you do not look fat” is not enough. there are a lot of reasons it’s not enough, but my point is that it’s crazy, and sometimes i wish i could just joke around and say things like,
“yeah, but why don’t you find out what *her* secret is to looking thin all the time.”
(*her* could be replaced with a proper name for effect.)
any other ideas? one’s you’ve used? or had used on you?
ha ha, i’m posting this because no one else has been posting anything.
you could always try:
“well DUH!”
or
“yeah, but I like my women with a little chub”
maybe
“absoLUTELY!”
and there’s always
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! OF COURSE!”
more cusion for the pushin’?
ewww…
How about..
“No, your face does”
“Not as fat as me”
“Yes you do..now go make us some fried chicken”
“Now do you mean Phat or fat?”
“What is the right answer?”
“Define fat”
“Hippo!”
Or have a third party planned to walk in and to say, “Excuse me, sir, but you really can’t park your van here in the living room.”
“HEY JOE! It’s not a VAN! It’s a FAT KID!! Heh, you’re just a fat kid eh fatty fatso?”
nice ones.
“awwww, don’t worry about it my sweet grease bucket. come here and let me lather my bread with your sweat droplets, my precious butterball.”
that is not appetizing at all.