The Vifl

I love Jesus. Some of you knew me before I was a “real” Christian. Some of you know the struggle I’ve had before, during, and still after my conversion. I’ve been striving after Jesus the best way I can full force over the last two years. I still mess up and I still let some of my old habits creep out. Yet, my continual transformation to become more like Christ has not only given me a purpose and a challenge, but a better life. I don’t try to hide from things as much. I don’t cover things up like I used to. Sure, I still make mistakes….some just as bad as before. I actually come to tears when I sin sometimes…I collapsed and cried in the shower the other day and prayed for forgiveness for things over the last few months. I’m wanting to have the heart and attitude of David mixed with Paul. The repentant heart and spirit even in the face of my own carnal mishaps. I want to be outspoken for Christ even unto death. I want to get rid of my sinful pleasures and my borderline Christianity. In everything I try to view it as a mission…what does it mean when I do something. It means I am displaying my efforts to be like or not like Christ. I am not able to do this on my own. Yes, I need the Spirit (Who is Himself God) to guide and direct me. When I do something iffy, I am making people see an iffy Christ. I have no right to just decide what is right and wrong, to just do what I want. I have been given the gift of freewill (Within the context of me choosing my decisions, not in the aspect that God knows what I will, am, and have done and therefore create the paradoxical illusion of being confined outside of free will. This is my opinion.) and yet I need to realize that I gave myself to Christ. I have chosen to be God’s slave and it’s not a bad gig. He provides food, clothing, housing, a pass to see the world, and many other blessings. God is a good master. I guess I’m rambling…but I want you to know that I’m gonna be putting all of you who are on the VIFL list in my prayer journal. I am going to pray that you seek and find just as I am choosing to do for the rest of my life. That you can have the joy despite circumstances. To take in God like you are addicted to Him. I love you all…..and I hope, and will pray, that I get to see each one of you after death in Heaven, whatever Heaven may be. Brothers, for eternity.